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I got an email from the producer I was talking to at WE TV saying that I had not been selected as a Bridezilla for season 6 of the show.  When I inquired if the “powers that be” had said why they thought I wasn’t Bridezilla material, I was told, and I quote, “Unfortunately the network doesn’t feel the need to let us in on the “why” of their decisions.”  Now, obviously someone above him on the ladder was having an off day because they somehow missed all of the raging, flaming, fiercely bitchy fabulousness that is Miss Janessa Jaye Champagne and decided to pass on the slightly white trash, totally dysfunctional, pharmaceutically enhanced monkey show that will be my “happily ever after.”  I mean, HELLO, ratings heaven!

Now, not being a person to take things lying down (unless you paid cash in advance, plus 15% gratuity), I have decided to ask all of you fabulous people out there to let me and, more importantly, let WE TV know what a ridonkulous mistake they have made.

The letter writing campaign has begun!

Please send an email to CastingBridezillas@gmail.com letting the WE TV folks know that you think that they have made the biggest mistake since Beyonce agreed to let her mother make the clothes for Destiny’s Child.  If they think I’m too nice for Bridezillas, you let them know the error of their ways and tell them what a raging bitch I really am.  If enough people send emails, they might just reconsider and put me on the show after all.  And if not, what are they going to do?  Take me off the sho…oh wait, I’m not ON the fucking show.

Send an email, get all your friends to send an email, then call your mom and have HER send an email.  Call your frat brothers, your friends from the bingo parlor, the ladies from the church women’s circle (you know you are all secretly big drag show fans!), anyone you can think of!

HELP ME TO HELP OTHERS!

To keep this from being entirely self-motivated, I’m going to make all of you a deal.  When you send your email to CastingBridezillas@gmail.com please CC the message to JanessaJaye@hotmail.com so that I know you sent them your 2 cents worth.  If I receive 250 copies of emails before the end of the year (11:59 pm, central time, on December 31), I will organize a special fundraiser drag show to support Breast Cancer research in early 2009!  So not only can you help me pursue my dream of cheesy reality show psuedo-fame, you can also help raise much needed funds for people affected with that terrible disease (this cause is very near and dear to my own heart as my grandmother is a survivor). 

It’s a win-win situation, so get to those keyboards y’all and let’s let WE TV know that Miss Janessa Jaye Champagne isn’t just a Bridezilla, she is THE Bridezilla!

Kisses and Cocktails!
Miss Janessa Jaye Champagne

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